Why, when my male colleague is out of the office, do students expect me to know when he’ll be back? They don’t ask him the same question when I’m away.
I’m the only woman at a meeting along with one senior male academic and two junior male academics from the same department. We’re discussing a grant we have recently received. When I make a suggestion, it is ignored. Until the senior male academic says *the same thing* and the junior male academics say gushy things like ‘excellent point — very strategic.’ Now I know what you’re thinking: this is too much of a cliche to have actually happened. But it did…three times in the same meeting!
On one of the student evaluations, in response to the question “What aspect of the course and/or the instructor’s teaching did you find the least valuable”: “prof’s loud, shrill voice.”
On the weekend, the subject of being a stay at home mother comes up in conversation and this woman says to me – “But if you were a stay at home mother, what kind of role model would you be? I mean, who would your daughter look up to?” Wow.
Directly copied and pasted from rateyourprofessor.com: “BEST PROF EVER, AND WHAT GREAT GAMS!!” (and what is even more embarrassing is that I didn’t know what “gams” were until a colleague of mine explained it to me…I naively assumed that it was a comment about my sense of humour in the class)
Being referred to as “Miss.” This is a pet peeve of mine, but a default option (at the very least) should be “Ms,” and I’m sick of feeling guilty or elitist if I correct people and say “Dr.”
By the end of the first year of a tenure track job I started taking pre-natal vitamins. One clock was ticking louder for me than the other one. When one of my senior (female) colleagues found out she said, “You better not get pregnant. I could be on your tenure and promotion committee, you know. hahahahahahaha.” So not funny then, and it still annoys me. But: I now have a kid, tenure, and promotion. hahahahahahaha.
I had a meeting with a senior partner at a law firm to finalize some documents we began drafting in April, when I was a few months pregnant and just starting to show. When I met with him in September, his first words weren’t “Hello, how was your summer” but rather “Wow, you really were pregnant last time I saw you – you look way better now.”
I learned that my son’s grade five teacher will insist that we use Miss. Yes, that’s right, Miss. Not Ms. and not Mrs. as she’s single (and, BTW, maybe 25, at the outside). Apparently it matters whether she is married or not. I also learned that this concern is based on MY (said, with capitals, by the accuser, “YOUR”) value system and does not reflect on her teaching skills or style.